When someone we love or someone we are around experiences trauma, we may feel some effects as well. This is called secondary trauma. When we work with someone who has experienced trauma or we are exposed to traumatic material for extended periods, we may also feel some shifts in our well-being. This is called vicarious trauma. When we find ourselves exhausted from emotionally or physically caretaking for someone, this is called compassion fatigue. These types of indirect trauma can overlap and intersect.
Indirect trauma can happen from an acute incident or build up over time. Indirect trauma can sometimes catch us off guard or may be something new that we are reckoning with. It can wear us down from the inside out and outside in. It may be hard to recognize, admit, or articulate that exposure to the traumas of others has impacted us.
We may judge ourselves, shame ourselves, or belittle, minimize, or invalidate our human response of caring deeply and being affected. We may think, ‘Well, I wasn’t the one who went through it, I shouldn’t feel bad,’ or ‘I am being weak for being affected by this.’ Simply put, when bad things happen to others, we can also feel pain from seeing their pain, empathizing with them, or supporting them. It may bring up or remind us of past trauma or pain that we have experienced, and can even change our worldviews. We may feel jaded, depressed, doubtful, cynical, despondent, or pessimistic, noticing changes in our thinking, emotions, moods, and behaviors.
Anyone can experience indirect trauma – professional mental health providers, doctors, firefighters, parents, siblings, teammates, coaches, coworkers, children, etc. In sports, for example, when an athlete has an injury or experiences abuse, teammates and other organizational staff may feel the ripple effects as well. Or when a child experiences abuse or pain, parents may feel the repercussions themselves. In the workplace, social workers and hotline workers, for instance, may experience indirect trauma from hearing about or witnessing the abuse of their clients. We may hurt from their hurt, or be fatigued from taking care of or advocating for them, even if it's our honor to do so. We may be further impacted by seeing the consequences of the trauma they have experienced, or how others have responded to them.
The first step in supporting yourself and coping with indirect trauma is taking the step to acknowledge, name, and create awareness around what you are experiencing. The sooner you can recognize that you are feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, reactive, numb, fearful, avoidant, exhausted, hypervigilant, the better.
The next step is to be compassionate with yourself and take extra care of yourself. This looks like dropping any self-judgment or analysis, but instead, validating your reaction and tending to your mind and body. You may feel that your self-care is not a priority, or necessary, or that you do not have the time, but even taking a moment for a deep breath, taking a break, distracting yourself, or seeking your own support can be a fruitful investment that pays off dividends for yourself and even the person(s) who have directly experienced the trauma. Self-care is not selfish, but rather recharges our batteries and builds our resilience, develops our self-compassion, and our ability to be present for ourselves and others in our day-to-day lives.
The third step — when you are out of the weeds — is to set healthy boundaries between you and the other person, your work, the news, or whatever may be affecting you. Remember, these boundaries can be flexible and change over time. Boundaries serve you and others around you in your ability to provide sustainable support and show up for yourself and others in the world for the long term, not just the short term.
For more information on supporting survivors in the short and long term, visit this blog, and for best practices on what to say versus what not to say, see this blog.
If you or someone you know needs support, please visit our crisis resources or resources for assistance.
Kathryn McClain, MSW, MBA
Program and Partnerships Director at #WeRideTogether
kmcclain@weridetogether.today
References and Resources
