Healthy communication and clear boundaries and expectations are important in any interpersonal relationship. In sports, this most commonly applies to communication among athletes, athletes and coaches, athletes and parents, and parents and coaches. While there are nuances that must be taken into account for each sporting space and each athlete's situation depending on the sport and level of play, these best practice guidelines can help parents and coaches better navigate their communication successfully. 

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Most importantly, parents and coaches must center the athlete’s holistic best interest in terms of any material for discussion, medium, and tone of delivery. 

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Pro tips for coaches and parents:

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• Communicate with one another when both parties are calm and in an appropriate time and place. This means having respectful conversations not in the heat of the moment and at a convenient time for everyone. (If safety concerns arise, act promptly utilizing crisis resources and reporting guidelines.)
• Listen first. Try to understand where the other person is coming from and what their desired outcome is from the conversation. See where your goals and interests align and work together on a solution or outcome, supporting the athlete’s holistic best interest. 
• Involve a third party if needed. Assistant coaches and other sporting staff can help support coaches and parents if there are communication issues, or sensitive topics that need to be addressed. 
• Respect your role. Assuming safe and healthy coaching and sporting environments are being practiced and upheld, leave the parenting to the parents and the coaching to the coaches. If unsafe practices or environments are being observed, follow response and reporting guidelines to ensure athlete safety. 
• Keep conversations tangible and on topic. Adhere to boundaries by maintaining sport-specific communication relevant to your athlete’s sporting goals and progress. Supportive resources are available for coaches, athletes, and parents to access on topics such as mental health, school and work performance, time management, stress, etc. 

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Pro tips for coaches:

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• Be clear and consistent. Discuss upfront, openly, and honestly, at the beginning and during each season your coaching practices, expectations for athletes, schedule requirements, and injury protocols in line with safe and healthy sporting procedures.
• Exercise transparency, honesty, and fairness in terms of playing time, athlete positions, etc. Keeping everyone on the same page and abiding by the same Code of Conduct outlining behavioral expectations helps all athletes, parents, and coaches work together in unity for the best interest of each athlete and the team. 
• Follow your organization’s response and reporting procedures in alignment with care and support. Ensure that all athletes and parents know how to respond and report concerns or observations of abuse and misconduct. 

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The following prompts are designed to help coaches reflect on how to create athletic environments that prioritize the athlete’s holistic best interest:

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• Healthy and safe sport means ….
• I uphold care and support for my athletes by…
• Something I need from my sporting organization to support my ability to coach well is...

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Pro tips for parents:

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• Focus on your athlete’s goals. Not your goals. Or projecting your desired outcomes. Talk with your athlete about what they wish to improve, focus on, and achieve in and outside of their sport. 
• Be an example of sportspersonship. This applies to how you speak to, about, and treat your athlete, other athletes, parents, coaches, and referees. This goes for communication and behaviors at home, at practice, competitions, etc. 
• Serve as an advocate for your athlete. This means empowering them to speak up for themselves, honor their intuition, help them work towards their goals, and maintain perspective and opportunities inside and outside the world of sports. 

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The following prompts are designed to help parents reflect on how to create athletic environments that prioritize the athlete’s holistic best interest:

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• Healthy and safe sport means ….
• I can support my athlete by ….
• The benefits I want my athlete to gain from participating in sport are…

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Kathryn McClain, MSW, MBA

Program and Partnerships Director at #WeRideTogether

kmcclain@weridetogether.today

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References

• Holden, Shelley & Forester, Brooke & Keshock, Chris & Pugh, Steven. (2015). How to Effectively Manage Coach, Parent, and Player Relationships. The Sport Journal. 10.17682/sportjournal/2015.025 =.  
• Santos, F., Ferreira, M., Dias, L., Elliott, S. K., Milan, F. J., Milistetd, M., & Knight, C. J. (2024). A scoping review of coach-parent interactions and relationships across youth sport settings. International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 1–24. https://doi.org/10.1080/1750984X.2024.2332986‍
• ‍US Center for SafeSport Parent Toolkit ‍
• Van Mullem, Pete & Cole, Mike. (2015). Effective Strategies for Communicating with Parents in Sport. Strategies. 28. 13-17. 10.1080/08924562.2014.980872.