Parents and caregivers want their young athletes to have positive experiences in sport. But in today’s day and age, with community-driven sports evolving into a highly competitive pay-to-play model, you may be juggling a lot!1 The time, the cost, the mental weight of it all, personal and professional sacrifices, the highs and lows of your young athlete's sporting experiences. From your own responsibilities to your child’s, your involvement in their sport may take myriad forms, and it can be difficult to know what “supporting them well” actually looks like.
Often, you may feel like a taxi or an Uber; you could be the cheerleader, the provider, the administrator, the coach, the referee, a chaperone, a volunteer, or any combination of these.2 You yourself may be a parent and athlete, a former athlete, or carry a lot of knowledge about your athlete’s sports – or none at all. You may have positive experiences and opinions of sports, or negative experiences, hesitations, and fears. You may struggle to weigh the physical and safeguarding risks inherent in sports participation against your child’s dreams, ambitions, and desire for them to gain the many benefits of sport.
No matter your background or level of involvement, your role has a profound impact on your young athlete’s sport experience, development, and safety.
Start with a reflection on your young athlete’s goals and your goals.
Ask yourself:
- Why do I want my young athlete to play sports?
- What is my favorite thing about sports?
- What is the best thing about my young athlete’s involvement in sport?
- What am I worried about with my young athlete’s sporting experience?
- What can I do to improve my young athlete’s sporting experience?
- What resources or help do I need to make this possible?
Ask your young athlete:
- Why do you want to play sports?
- What is your favorite thing about sports?
- What is your least favorite thing about sports?
- What are your goals in your sport this season/year?
- How would you like me to support you in your sport?
Most parents want what they believe is best for their child and do their best to make sure that happens. When it comes to sport, parents may be faced with internal and external challenges. For example, parents may try to fulfill their own dreams through their child, may exert undue pressure because they think it's in their child’s best interest, or may want to correct or ensure that their child has a different experience than they had. Sometimes parents are unable to be present or involved in their child’s sport, balancing the needs of their other children and other responsibilities. Or, perhaps a parent’s goals or visions for a youth’s sporting experiences do not align with their young athlete’s goals or hopes.
Ultimately, what matters here is grounding in reality and constantly reflecting and refreshing on expectations. This looks like having age-appropriate conversations with your young athlete, sitting down together, and both expressing your why and your intentions around your involvement in sport. These conversations help ensure your goals stay aligned as expectations and pressures may change and evolve over time. Additionally, regularly checking in with your young athlete helps them feel heard, builds trust, and strengthens communication.
What does the research say?
“Although parents, coaches, and peers all contribute to the outcomes of young athletes in this context, parents remain the primary social agents shaping adolescent experiences and participation in sports throughout childhood and adolescence.”3
Parents Shape Their Young Athletes’ Sport Experience
“Children place great importance on their parents’ involvement in sporting endeavors, and consequently parental involvement can influence children’s motivation, enjoyment, and long-term involvement in youth sport. For example, if parents provide unconditional love, encouragement, and praise, as well as other forms of emotional, tangible, and informational support, they are likely to have a positive impact on children’s experiences in sport, enjoyment, and potential. In contrast, if children perceive parents to engage in pressuring behaviors, such as excessive expectations, criticizing play, or withdrawing love after competition, it can lead to negative sporting experiences.”4
“Positive parental involvement helps young athletes build stronger self-confidence, enhances their ability to cope with competitive stress, and fosters a love for and commitment to the sport. In our research findings, [we] discovered that a moderate level of parental involvement is most beneficial for the development of athletes throughout the sports season, particularly in sub-elite and elite athletes…Furthermore, in the interpersonal environment of youth sports, the relationship between coaches and parents is also considered an important factor and warrants further comprehensive consideration.”5
The takeaway: Show unconditional love and acceptance for your young athlete, regardless of their athletic performance. This does not mean there are no ways to support or work on skill development and improvement, but your role is to be the parent as a constant and steady source of comfort. Aim for a moderate level of involvement to support your young athletes' personal growth and development and to help them gain the benefits of sport; and be mindful of your relationship with their coach! Be engaged while giving them space to develop their independence, and help them build their own toolkit of skills.
Lasting Consequences of Parental Pressures
“Empathic, understanding attitudes are associated with a more positive parent-child relationship, whereas too much pressure on children regarding sport may make them unwilling to share his/her experiences, difficulties and/or problems with the parents.”6
“Relatively high levels of anxiety may result in increased parental pressure, which potentially contributes to negative emotional outcomes in the athletes, such as reduced pleasure in the sport, low self-confidence, and increased stress, while these, in turn, may eventually lead to early dropout….Finally, due to athletic children’s strict schedule, their private life also requires careful planning to protect the quality of their peer relationships, leisure time, and family life.”7
The takeaway: Be mindful of the pressure you may be putting on your young athlete and keep the line of communication open where concerns can be expressed safely; that is the priority! Help your young athlete find balance in their life across sport, friends, family, school, and leisure; take the pressure off sport to help protect their athletic longevity.
Parents are Pivotal in Creating Safer Sports
“The development of athletes is influenced by the relationship between parents and sports clubs. Clubs must support parental involvement, reduce stress and improve communication. Recommendations include empathy training for coaches, balancing sports and personal growth, post-injury support and workshops for parents.”8
“...youth sport contexts are complex and cause problems for parents because they may feel powerless to respond to concerns about the lack of a sufficiently healthy sport environment for their child…Implementing education interventions with parents in sport is one important way of preventing abuse from occurring in sport.”9
When looking at the United States alone, according to the 2024 National Parent Survey conducted by Project Play:10
- “Roughly two-thirds of parents said their child’s coach passed a criminal background check conducted by the team, club, or school.”
- “Two in ten parents said their child had been subjected to inappropriate pressure or exploitation by coaches or other adults supporting the team, club, or school.”
- “The three most important coach trainings parents would like to see were injury prevention, CPR and first aid, and abuse prevention (physical, emotional, sexual).”
- “The two most important coaching philosophies to parents were supporting athletes in being healthy and fit and distributing playing time in a fair manner. The two least important coaching philosophies were winning and creating a safe environment to prevent injuries.”
The takeaway: Safe hiring practices and prevention education and awareness are some of the many safeguarding tools that coaches and sporting organizations should be adhering to. While some organizations may be taking steps towards creating safer and healthier sporting environments, do not assume someone else is taking responsibility for safeguarding. Take it upon yourself to check that your organization has a safeguarding policy with safe hiring practices, and to learn these four things about your child’s coach.
Parent Behavior Matters
“Observations of parents at youth sports competition have indicated that up to 30% of parents may be involved in negative or inappropriate ways, ranging from shouting instructions to physically abusive behaviors. When parents display negative behaviors on the sidelines, it can have a range of detrimental consequences for children. For instance, such parental behavior can impact children’s long-term sport engagement, increase anxiety and stress, and reduce self-esteem. Moreover, poor parental behavior at competitions can impact the quality of the parent-child relationship.”11
The takeaway: Be aware of your language and behavior on the sidelines, directed towards your young athlete, their teammates, the other team, coaches, officials, and other parents. Your actions have an impact on those around you. Model encouragement, sportsmanship, and winning well – that is, reaching performance goals with a safe and healthy culture. Follow these best practices when communicating with your child’s coach.
Your Role in Safeguarding
Safeguarding refers to actions we take to protect people from harm. This applies to physical, emotional, and mental harm. We may assume that sports are inherently safe, that coaches are trustworthy, and that peers are kind.12 Yet, that is not always the case, with over 50% of athletes experiencing some form of abuse and misconduct in sport, and the average age of the first incident of abuse being 13-15 years old. Most commonly in sports, perpetrators are authority figures and peers. However, parents, too, can perpetrate abuse and misconduct towards athletes, coaches, and referees, demonstrating maladaptive and harmful behaviors.13
Parents, you have a key and pivotal role to play in protecting your young athlete! The following is an actionable list of things you can do to help ensure your young athlete has a safe and healthy experience in their sports.
- Be a Steady Presence
- Encourage and reward effort over results
- Help your young athlete build resilience, confidence, and trust their gut
- Listen without judgment
- Keep communication open
- Show support through the highs and lows
- Be an Advocate
- Ask your sporting organization to create or improve its safeguarding policy
- Learn reporting procedures
- Do your due diligence on your young athlete’s coach and hold them accountable to healthy relationship dynamics and maintaining boundaries
- Ensure your young athlete has a safe adult to reach out to for support
- Be a Role Model
- Work on goal setting with your young athlete
- Demonstrate sportsmanship to all
- Adopt a “winning-well” over “winning-at-all costs” mentality
- Communicate with your young athlete’s coach mindfully and respectfully
- Be Holistic
- Provide your young athlete with a balanced schedule for time with family, friends, and for school and rest
- Support injury prevention and recovery
- Hold perspective over grandiose dreams
- Educate your young athlete on consent, their body parts, types of abuse and misconduct
Parents and caregivers – you have an immense impact and influence on your young athlete, which can be leveraged both positively and negatively. It is up to you to reflect on how your actions, attitudes, and words can impact your young athlete’s experience in sport. How you show up for them matters. This does not mean that you should be at every practice or competition, but rather that you provide advocacy, consistency, perspective, and unconditional support.
If you or someone you know needs support, visit our crisis resources.
Kathryn McClain, MSW, MBA
Program and Partnerships Director at #WeRideTogether
kmcclain@weridetogether.today
Footnotes
- Knoester & Bjork, 2025
- Knight et al., 2016
- Gao et al., 2024
- Knight et al., 2016
- Gao et al., 2024
- Kovács, et al., 2024
- Kovács, et al., 2022
- Kassay, et al., 2026
- McMahon, et al., 2018
- Project Play, 2025
- Webb & Knight, 2024
- McMahon, et al., 2018
- Burke, et al., 2023
References
- Burke, S., Sharp, L. A., Woods, D., & Paradis, K. F. (2023). Athletes' perceptions of unsupportive parental behaviours in competitive female youth golf. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 35(6), 960–982. https://doi.org/10.1080/10413200.2023.2166155
- Gao, Z., Chee, C. S., Wazir, M. R. N. W., Wang, J., Zheng, X., & Wang, T. (2024). The role of parents in the motivation of young athletes: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, Article 1291711. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1291711
- Kassay, L., Boros, S., Juhász, I., Rausch, A., & Kovács, K. (2026). Parents' role in dropout: One of the important stakeholders in organized youth sports. Sport, Business and Management: An International Journal, 16(1), 143–172. https://doi.org/10.1108/SBM-09-2024-0117
- Knight, C. J., Dorsch, T. E., Osai, K. V., Haderlie, K. L., & Sellars, P. A. (2016). Influences on parental involvement in youth sport. Sport, Exercise, and Performance Psychology, 5(2), 161–178. https://doi.org/10.1037/spy0000053
- Knoester, C., & Bjork, C. (2025). Parental involvement in youth sports: Historical trends and links to generational, socioeconomic status, sport culture, and youth sport commitment contexts. Leisure/Loisir, 1–37. https://doi.org/10.1080/14927713.2025.2503183
- Kovács, K., Földi, R. F., Géczi, G., & Gyömbér, N. (2022). Parental stressors in sports influenced by attributes of parents and their children. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(13), 8015. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19138015
- Kovács, K., Oláh, Á. J., & Pusztai, G. (2024). The role of parental involvement in academic and sports achievement. Heliyon, 10(2), e24290. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2024.e24290
- McMahon, J., Knight, C. J., & McGannon, K. R. (2018). Educating parents of children in sport about abuse using narrative pedagogy. Sociology of Sport Journal, 35(4), 314–323. https://doi.org/10.1123/ssj.2017-0186
- Project Play. (2025). Project Play survey: Parents spend 3 hours on sports every day their child plays. https://projectplay.org/news/project-play-survey-parents-spend-3-hours-on-sports-every-day-their-child-plays
- Webb, T., & Knight, C. J. (2024). Sports officials and parents as spectators: Diffusing tensions on the sidelines. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 36(4), 568–579. https://doi.org/10.1080/10413200.2023.2286952
